home syndication

Archive for November, 2008

Are you lacking Self-Discipline ? - Part 2

As a man practises self-control he approximates more and
more to this inward reality, and is less and less swayed
by passion and grief, pleasure and pain, and lives a
steadfast and virtuous life, manifesting manly strength and
fortitude. The restraining of the passions, however, is
merely the initial stage in self-discipline, and is
immediately followed by the process of Purification. By this
a man so purifies himself as to take passion out of the heart
and mind altogether; not merely restraining it when it rises
within him, but preventing it from rising altogether. By
merely restraining his passions a man can never arrive at
peace, can never actualise his ideal; he must purify those
passions.

It is in the purification of his lower nature that a man
becomes strong and god-like, standing firmly upon the ideal
centre within, and rendering all temptations powerless and
ineffectual. This purification is effected by thoughtful
care, earnest meditation, and holy aspiration; and as success
is achieved confusion of mind and life pass away, and calmness
of mind and spiritualized conduct ensure.

True strength and power and usefulness are born of self-
purification, for the lower animal forces are not lost, but
are transmuted into intellectual and spiritual energy. The
pure life (Pure in thought and deed) is a life of conservation
of energy; the impure life (even should the impurity not
extent beyond thought) is a life of dissipation of energy. The
pure man is more capable, and therefore more fit to succeed in
his plans and to accomplish his purposes than the impure.
Where the impure man fails, the pure man will step in and be
victorious, because he directs his energies with a calmer mind
and a greater definiteness and strength of purpose.

With the growth in purity; all the elements which constitute a
strong and virtuous manhood are developed in an increasing
degree of power, and as a man brings his lower nature into
subjection, and makes his passions do his bidding, just so much
will he mould the outer circumstances of his life, and influence
thers for good. The third stage of self-discipline, that of
Relinquishment, is a process of letting the lower desires and
all impure and unworthy thoughts drop out of the mind, and also
refusing to give them any admittance, leaving them to perish. As
a man grows purer, he perceives that all evil is powerless,
unless it receives his encouragement, and so he ignores it, and
lets it pass out of his life. It is by pursuing this aspect of
self-discipline that a man enters into and realises the divine
life, and manifests those qualities which are distinctly divine,
such as wisdom, patience, non-resistance, compassion, and love.
It is here, also, where a man becomes consciously immortal,
rising above all the fluctuations and uncertainties of life, and
living in and intelligent and unchangeable peace.

By self-discipline a man attains to every degree of virtue and
holiness, and finally becomes a purified son of God, realising
his oneness with the central heart of all things. Without
self-discipline a man drifts lower and lower, approximating more
and more nearly to the beast, until at last he grovels, a lost
creature, in the mire of his own befoulment. By self-discipline
a man rises higher and higher, approximating more and more nearly
to the divine, until at last he stands erect in his divine
dignity, a saved soul, glorified by the radiance of his purity.
Let a man discipline himself, and he will live; let a man cease
to discipline himself, and he will perish. As a tree grows in
beauty, health, and fruitfulness by being carefully pruned and
tended, so a man grows in grace and beauty of life by cutting
away all the branches of evil from his mind, and as he tends and
develops the good by constant and unfailing effort.

As a man by practice acquires proficiency in his craft, so the
earnest man acquires proficiency in goodness and wisdom. Men
shrink from self-discipline because in its early stages it is
painful and repellent, and the yielding to desire is, at first,
sweet and inviting; but the end of desire is darkness and
unrest, whereas the fruits of discipline are immortality and
peace.

**Attn Ezine Editors / Site Owners**
Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety
in your ezine or on your site so long as you leave
all links in place.

About the Author

Carl Cholette is a young entrepreneur, motivational
coach, fitness trainer and syndicated author.
Now discover, how you can travel the world at wholesale
price while making $2,000 to $10,000 a month with 95%
of the work done for you!
Visit===> http://www.coastalcenter.ca

Are you in search of the most informative help with referenc

Are you in search of the most informative help with reference to echinacea.
Sometimes when you’re trying to find high-class information on echinacea, you’ll find it’s complex extricating the best information from unprofessional echinacea suggestions and directions so it’s best to know ways of moderating the information presented to you.

Find echinacea
Your relevant result is a click away!

Here’s a few tips that we think you should use when you’re searching for information about echinacea. Understand that the guidance we offer you is only applicable to internet advice about echinacea. We are unable to offer any guidance or advice when you are also conducting research offline.

Look for echinacea
Find echinacea at one of the best sites the Internet has to offer!

A great tip to pursue when you’re presented with help and advice regarding a echinacea web site is to find out who owns the site. This may reveal the operators echinacea identifications The easiest way to work out who is at the back of the echinacea site is to look for the ‘about’ page.

Any reputable site providing information concerning echinacea, will nearly always have a ‘contact’, or an ‘about’, page which will list the people behind the site. The details should let you know some indication about the website owner’s expertise. This enables you to make an assessment about the webmaster’s depth of experience, to give recommendations about echinacea.

About the author:

Kevin Temp is the webmaster for http://www.eczema-cures.info

Are You Happier Drinking Beer With Your Buddies than Getting

Are You Happier Drinking Beer With Your Buddies than Getting Laid?

This is the king of seduction speaking. Needless to say I do not sit around drinking beer with my buddies. Number one I do not have a buddy and number two if I did we wouldn’t be sitting around drinking beer we would be out picking up chicks. My name is Elvis Preston King and I pick up and seduce more hot young 18 year old chics than any man on earth. Sure I like drinking a beer and sure I would like to have a buddy, but not at the expensive of losing my chance to make love with hot young chics every single day. What’s my secret? I don’t sit around waiting for girls to come to me. I go where the girls are and where they would least be ready for the king to make a fast approach.

I never have hung out with the boys. When my buddies were playing pool I was off cruising for girls when I was young and it hasn’t change much now either. With practice my skill level has gone to expert level. I now get laid more than any man on the planet.

A little confidence and a good self image goes a long way. Oh, so you don’t have any self confidence. Don’t fret Elvis Preston King has enough for the both of us… Call me and we can and will get laid.

Otherwise just keep sitting there in that bar chair talking about how Elvis Preston King is crock of bull that is just a myth. If that makes you happy keep it up. But it is making passionate love to one to three hot chics per day that make the king happy.

Track me down at loverboybachelor@yahoo.com

After we get laid THEN we can sit around drinking beer and talking about the girls that did NOT get away!

About the Author

Elvis Preston King is the world’s most renowned and respected playboy. His job is picking up and seducing classy young women globally for the gentleman conoseiur who realizes that there is more to life than just accumulating money and the same old same old boring wife. You can email him at loverboybachelor@yahoo.com or visit http://bachelortours.blogspot.com and http:www.msnusers.com/BachelorDreamTours

Liar Liar … Your Dream’s On Fire! What ‘lies’ beneath that k

We all tell ourselves lies, about ourselves. I cringed when I first thought about it. But we all do it. Tell ourselves things about ourselves that aren’t true.

You know the voice that says, ‘I’m insecure’ or ‘I don’t know how to handle money’ or ‘I’m no good at making friends’ or ‘I’ll never be successful’ or ‘I’m a loser.’ We make up lies about ourselves and the problem is those thoughts - lies - keep us stuck.

What is the lie you’re telling yourself? And why is it devastating to your life?

STAR EXAMPLE

What if Hilary Swank had told herself she couldn’t act? What if she had told herself she was a loser after getting fired from the TV show 90210. Hilary Swank is a high school dropout and considered to be the best actress ever by Clint Eastwood. What if instead of following her dream she had listened to lies?

She got the part for the movie ‘Boys Don’t Cry Oscar’ and won an Oscar after getting fired from 90210. If you’ve seen her in ‘Million Dollar Baby’ you know she’s done it again - listened to her heart not to any lies.

CLIENT EXAMPLE

I’m coaching a wonderful 45-year-old woman - Helen - who told me and herself that she was dependent and needed others to take care of her. Now when I listen to her and connect with her I don’t pick up dependent.

I feel and hear the strength in her that she has forgotten is there.

And Helen wanted to travel, take workshops, cooking classes, maybe even move to another city. But she was afraid to do those things on her own.

So as we explored this story / lie she began to realize that the story of being dependent came from her mother who was very domineering and wanted to control Helen. She managed to do just that, and Helen let her.

So let’s look in more detail at what happened and how Helen dealt with it.

Her mother had been controlling and told Helen she couldn’t do anything on her own. She criticized and judged her; told her she was incompetent, lazy and stupid and could never amount to anything. She better stick around and let her mother take care of her, otherwise she would need to marry a man to take care of her.

So Helen remained ‘dependent’ on her mother. She began to believe the lies her mother told her and eventually told herself the same lie - ‘I’m dependent.’ ‘I’m not like other people, I can’t do things on my own.’ Like take a vacation alone, or go to a workshop in another city, much less live in another city.

After her mother died, Helen married a man who treated her just like her mother. He really eroded her self-confidence. Even though she eventually divorced him she still didn’t believe she could be independent.

Whenever she wanted to do something for herself, the ‘lie’ - ‘I’m dependent’ would come up and keep her from doing what she wanted to do.

In order to get her unstuck, we revealed the lie and looked at all the times and things she had done in her life that indicated she wasn’t dependent on others.

After all, she had divorced her husband, gone to college and lived on campus. She had changed jobs several times to move up and she was smart.

There were many examples. She just didn’t acknowledge them because she was looking at everything from the perspective of ‘I’m dependent.’

Once she realized she had done things that a truly dependent woman wouldn’t have done, she changed her perspective from ‘I’m dependent’ to ‘I’m independent and I can make it on my own and it’s okay, even healthy, to ask friends for help when necessary.’

WHAT’S YOUR LIE?

Is it: ‘I’ll never get married’ or ‘I’ll never be happy’ or ‘I’ll never be able to buy a house in California’ or ‘I’m not good enough to get hired for a job I really want?’

Whatever your dream is, if you aren’t living it, check in with yourself and see if you are telling yourself a lie that is blocking you and keeping you stuck.

Do you want a new career, a new relationship, a better paying job, a different job with fun people, a new wardrobe or to go on an exotic vacation?

If you aren’t actively working towards something meaningful, you might be telling yourself a lie that is keeping you from having that in your life.

HOW DO YOU MOVE FROM LIE TO TRUTH?

So the first step is to uncover your story / lie. Once you’ve done that, look at the negative statement underneath the story. That’s the lie. Then admit that it’s a lie.

Someone may have told you that lie, or you may have formed it to protect yourself, or to keep yourself from taking a risk. It can help to know the reason and right now we are focusing on the actual lie.

Once you’ve uncovered the lie, look to see a new perspective you can choose to stand in.

What would God say about you, what would your angels say, or your best friend, or a loving grandmother or grandfather?

Choose their perspective and stand in that perspective. Throw the lie out.

God, Source, Spirit whatever you want to call the divine, didn’t create an imperfect, flawed human being. We create that with our lies.

You are a child of God, Spirit, Source and that makes you perfect, connected and loved.

So give that love back to yourself. Get up and take an action step toward having what you want. And when, and if, the lie pops up again tell it to get lost. It’s just a lie. It’s not the truth. You are a precious child of the divine. That’s the truth.

Get moving!

Imagine the possibilities…

© Carol C. Chanel,

2005 Certified Life Coach

C.P.C.C.

About The Author

Carol Chanel is a Certified Life Coach who works with clients by phone, from all over the world, to help them get UNSTUCK, have healthy relationships, improve their love lives and feel great about themselves.

You can contact her at:

http://www.carolchanel.com

mailto:carol@carolchanel.com

310-998-8860

Considering Wooden Flooring?

If you are debating whether wooden flooring is right for your home it’s important that you understand what the wooden flooring terms refer to. There are huge array of online flooring retailers, and its important to understand there are various factors with wooden flooring which effect how it looks, and makes each wooden floor look different from another. There is a very slim chance that the wooden floor you saw in the showroom or on the internet will look exactly the same as when it’s fitted in your home.

The reason people like hardwood floors is that they are all unique. One factor which effects how the wood looks is how near the wood is to the bark of the tree, this is called sapwood. The closer to the outside of the tree, the lighter the colour the wood will appear. The grain of the wood is another major factor, this can vary is direction and also changes in appearance depending on the colour of the wood fibers. The growth rings of the tree are also a significant factor which effect how the wood looks. Tightly packed layers of wood are likely to result in a darker colour, these are formed when only a marginal layer of wood is added per year during a growing season. Other factors which can have an effect on the wood are mineral Streaks. These occur when trace elements are in the water, resulting in grey and olive markings. Knots are also a big factor in the appearance of your flooring, and are produced where branches of a tree have been encased, as the tree has grown. Often lower grade flooring will have more knots in it than higher grade.

The great thing about wooden flooring is its durability, and also the ease with which damage can be repaired. But as a natural product, as opposed to an artificial one, it is also prone to expand and contract during changes in the weather or season. This needs to be taken into account when your floor is fitted.

Are You a Self-Saboteur?

Take this questionnaire to get clear on what you may be doing to undermine your own success and happiness in life. An explanation of your score awaits at the end.

1. When someone offers help you usually

  1. answer no without even thinking
  2. consider for a moment, but then decide their help would be inadequate
  3. consider for a moment, but then decide it would be asking for too much
  4. happily accept

2. Your level of organization is

  1. catastrophic — you can’t even find your toothbrush at night
  2. okay, except that when it comes to your dream you tend to keep everything on tiny slips of paper that get lost
  3. not bad … you organize everything. It’s just that you never act on it
  4. fine — you keep a running file or list of what you need to do on your dream projects every day

3. If someone gives you a key contact, you

  1. tuck it away in a pocket with no intention of using it anytime soon
  2. stick it in a safe place in your organizer or wallet, then lose it
  3. put it on your desk where it sits untouched for the next four months
  4. get in touch with that person within a few days

4. When opportunity knocks

  1. you get a strange feeling in your gut and do nothing
  2. you always manage to get sick
  3. you seize the opportunity, but not until after several hours hair-tearing while you try to find necessary materials, the correct directions, a parking place, an open Fed Ex office, etc.
  4. you open the door and let it in

    5. The idea of being prepared, i.e. keeping an extra clean suit handy, having a beeper, always keeping extra promotion materials on hand, seems

    1. downright silly
    2. like a good idea, but one you probably wouldn’t do
    3. smart, and you may even do one or two of these things
    4. critical — you even keep extra panty hose on hand, and business cards in your gym bag

    6. The idea that someday you will be successful enough to call your own shots seems

    1. unlikely
    2. scary, but possible
    3. likely … if you could just get your act together somehow
    4. fated

    7. When an important project begins to reach some kind of climax, as it nears its conclusion, you

    1. withdrawal and let others finish it
    2. begin to get pretty bloody sick of the whole thing, and start to complain loudly
    3. start looking for the next thing to work on
    4. hang in there for completion, taking care of the details, knowing the next thing will come along soon

    Scoring:

    If most of your answers were

    1. You are committed to hanging out, which is fine, unless you’ve got that nagging feeling you should be doing something more. If so, you probably need a therapist, or a life coach at the very least (see Chapter X, “What is a Coach and Why Do I Need One?”) when you’re ready to get serious.
    2. Your fear is definitely getting in the way of what you want to do in life. You need to get an arsenal of support including a support group, a coach, and plenty of meditation time.
    3. You’re grappling with the usual fear and doubts, but the problem is you’re listening to them, even though you know the deal. Set up a regular support group and find a support buddy or coach who will bug you to get your work done every day.
    4. You’re doing the job the way it should be done. The only possible problem is burn-out, so be sure to schedule in the rest you need, and stimulating stuff to keep you perking along. A coach would be a wise investment towards seeing how far you could go.

    Want to get out of your own way and get on with your dreams? Check out Suzanne Falter-Barns’ ebook, Living Your Joy* How to Find the Time, the Money and the Energy to Live Your Dream at http://www.howmuchjoy.com/livingyourjoy.html Her free ezine, The Joy Letter, brings you a crisp, fresh burst of inspiration for your dream every week or two. Sign up at http://www.howmuchjoy.com/joyletter.html and receive her valuable report, “35 Guaranteed Time Savers.”

    Suzanne Falter-Barns is the author of How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine) and keeper of http://www.howmuchjoy.com — a website where you can push past your fears and create your dreams. Join her if there’s more you want to accomplish in life, and you just need an inspiring nudge!

    info@howmuchjoy.com

Are You a “Right-Fighter”?

Do you find yourself struggling to “win” arguments? Do people ask you why you always have to be right? Does conflict you engage in typically end with you having the last word, but no one feels good about the argument? Do arguments you engage in usually escalate to shouting and anger? If you have said yes to any of these questions, you are likely a right-fighter!

What is a “Right-Fighter”

A right-fighter is someone who struggles to win arguments, even if they doubt their own view. A right-fighter is someone who gets overly emotional or angry when people do not agree with them and their opinions or beliefs. A right-fighter is someone who insists on having the last word in an argument or refuses to back down no matter what.

Challenges of Being a “Right-Fighter”

1) People who are right-fighters, (or those who are driven by the need to be right), have their value or worth literally attached to the outcome of being right. On a very deep level, a right-fighter believes that if she is not agreed with then she is not valuable, lovable and/or worthy. The “right-fighter” desperately believes (unconsciously) that others must agree with her to feel ok about herself. Being a right-fighter causes you to depend upon others for your self-esteem and worth.

2) Right-Fighting is an acceptable form of violence or aggression. Because the right-fighting pattern usually ends up one sided and includes a winner and a loser, the effects are similar to those of physical abuse. Learned submission on the part of the children and often the other parent/spouse is inevitable. “Right-Fighting” is in fact a form of emotional abuse. A right-fighter parent is particularly harmful to children because the child is made to feel like the “loser” and that his or her opinions are
not valid or important. Right-fighting is a direct reflection of low self-esteem. And unfortunately the low self-esteem of one steals the development of strong self-esteem of others.

Negative Outcomes of “Right-Fighting” Women

~ Loved ones around a right-fighting women experience consistent feelings of defeat and learn to seriously doubt their capabilities, lovability and value as a human. The result is often
alienation.
~ Right-Fighting is an especially dangerous behavior for mothers. A very common outcome of right-fighting is that it tends to breed explosiveness and anger within the home environment.
~ Because the nature of a right-fighting parent is to prove his/her value and worthiness through being “right”, it is at the same time stealing a strong sense of value and worthiness from the children. Any time
parents have low self-esteem, the children will too.
~ Frequently right-fighters are managers, bosses or owners of companies because they are strong and powerful (which when used well are merely 2 of the abounding excellent qualities of the right-fighter!).
Unfortunately, the right-fighting work environment creates disloyalty, frequent turnover, dishonesty, ineffectiveness, and an every man for himself attitude. (I’ll save right-fighting in the workplace for another
time!)

Do Not Despair!

If you have found that you may have some qualities of a right-fighter, don’t start beating yourself up, begin working on it! You are a wonderful and lovable person with far more positive qualities

than negative… this is certain! This habit does NOT have to define you. You are capable of releasing this habit at any time (please seek help if you need it, a partner in change is always a wonderful gift to yourself and your family!).
Acknowledging your habit of right-fighting and becoming aware when you are engaging in this habit is the first, most important step in leading a more successful and happy life.

Action Step

“Right-fighters”: Begin to gently remind yourself of your unchanging value and worth during arguments and disagreements, whether or not you fully believe it. “Fake it till you make it”! Begin to imagine what conflict would be like if the outcome was not important. Begin to allow others to hold one opinion and you another without having ill or hurt feelings. What would life be like to be loved, cared for and respected rather than being “right”? Try validating others’ opinions as equally valuable. This doesn’t mean you must agree, only to say “yes” you and your view are as valuable as mine”. I promise you, peace will begin to flow into your life.

About the Author

Momentum Performance Development is a personal and professional coaching company. When you commit to one of our programs, our team of experts in sport, career, and family performance development will assist in exponentially changing your life for the better. This means high performance success for you. We are committed to your results!

Sign up for our FANTASTIC newsletters at www.create-momentum.com

Are people using e-cards to say important things in life sit

Are people using e-cards to say important things in life situations? The answer is yes, says things-to-say.com. things-to-say.com is a greeting card site that offers various things to say in life situations. The most popular category on this site is Love and Romance Situations. People are eating this up. A greeting card that says it all — what a better way to ask for someone’s hand in marriage. It works, people are even responding to the marriage proposals with a “yes” or “no” greeting card. If a man is coming on to a woman that isn’t interested in him she can simply send a greeting card that tells him that she is not interested. You will find different ways to say things, for example it you want to break up in a nice way you can select a card that does just that — however, if you are bitter and want to portray that bitterness you can do that too. Just think about it — a woman can send a greeting card that tells her love that it’s time to get off the pot and get married. They can choose a greeting that says this in a subtle way or they can select the more “get to the point” version.

Maybe your heart is broken and your relationship or marriage is on the rocks — what better way to get this message across. If you’re in an argument with someone but don’t feel it’s your part to say sorry — simply send a “let’s not fight” greeting card.

Electronic greeting cards are serving as a voice for the world. Greeting cards that say important things for life situations are suiting these times just right.

things-to-say.com offers love and romance situation topics such as;
Say “I Love You” for the first time, hint that you are romantically interested in someone, tell someone things are getting hot and heavy, not sure where the relationship stands, marriage proposals, romantic relationship moving too fast, breaking up, making up, when you are hurt ,when you think it’s time to meet for the first time, when you hurt someone, tell someone you’ll wait for them, marriage or romance on the rocks, I like you, love is blind, are you thinking what I’m thinking, you’re wearing me out , tell a man you’re not interested in him, tell your partner you don’t play games, etc.

Visit http://www.things-to-say.com for special effects greeting cards with poetry.

About the Author

This site is about things to say in life situations. We have FREE greeting cards, poetry and clean humor. Wait until you see these greeting cards with awesome graphics and special effects!

http://www.things-to-say.com/index.html

Are all Carbs Equal?

ARE ALL CARBS EQUAL?

We are getting low carbs trust down our throats right now - literally. Everywhere we look these fads are being thrown at us. Then there will be a major health scare and everyone will back off for a bit, only for someone else to pick up the gauntlet.

So let’s put the record straight. You can not cut out a major food group to such ridiculous amounts! There should be no such thing as a no/low carb diet.

In principle, the theory works. You lose weight (whether you do it healthily and keep it off is not for me to say). Eating good quality proteins definitely keeps the hunger at bay. However, if you are a normal individual cravings will start to kick in for those forbidden carbs and the whole thing goes down the pan.

So why don’t we change the concept slightly? Instead of concentrating on low carbs why don’t we start thinking about GOOD carbs? Because of course all fruit and veg are carbohydrates and everyone knows you have to eat plenty of this group for vitamins and minerals, right?

So consider changing tact. Miss off all the heavy, sugar laden carbohydrates like bread, pasta, potatoes etc and pile on the veg! Don’t stint, don’t worry about the carbs - they are good for you! Have a salad on the side tossed in a light dressing and three to four portions of non starchy veg with your chicken or fish. Have an apple to satisfy your sweet tooth. Fruit contain fructose, which has a different make up to other sugars and glucoses. When glucose hits your body the levels in your blood rise rapidly. The body has to deal with this surge by releasing insulin to clear the blood and direct this energy source to right place - that not required for muscle energy is shoved along to the liver to be stored for future use and the remainder gets stored in your fat cells. (ie, you get fat!) You are left with insulin in your blood which causes a huge drop in blood sugar. So how does body react? It wants more sugar to counterbalance! Fructose is metabolised direct in blood stream, does not cause a surge of insulin and hence the blood sugar remains stable. In other words, you won’t get an addictive craving for more, like you do with that pack of biccies! It is difficult to overeat on apples, isn’t it? You don’t often fancy eating the whole bag, do you?

Not all carbs are equal, just as not all proteins are equal. For successful weight loss a quality and good level of proteins must be adhered to (and the level necessary is different for each individual) to stop the body starting to burn muscle up for energy. Quality protein maintains muscle mass while decreasing the body fat density. A good carb programme incorporates body fat testing into its regime, wherever possible.

Prehistoric man wasn’t fat. He existed on lots of protein from animals, nuts and seeds, fresh fruits and natural vegetation. Grains, potatoes and rice did not exist and although our world has evolved to grow and produce these ingredients, our bodies have evolved at a much slower rate and are not as yet primed to cope with them. So really as we have brought the troubles on ourselves it is up to us to rectify the problems.

Just why did we make them taste so good?

Here’s to successful weight loss!

Chrissie Mayes

If you want more info on kickstarting your weight loss programme then click on the link below
http://www.negativecaloriediet.com/promote/besthealth.html

About the Author

Chrissie is a Wellness Consultant working with clients on a one to one basis to address individual nturition and weight loss problems.
For more info visit her wesite www.besthealthchoice.co.uk

Loving Every Phenomenal Part of You

Have you ever wished yourself away? I am not referring to leaving your precious life on this Earth; but rather, just wished you weren’t a certain way or did not have some particular qualities and mannerisms that were so apparent to you. I know I have.

In the past, I’ve had a very difficult time when others would point out my weaknesses to me, either constructively or not-so tactfully. I would think, ” Wow, not only do I think these are big problems I have, but now everyone else sees them as well.” I would hope and pray that these parts of my personality would disappear into the deep character trait abyss. I would pretend to myself they weren’t present or I would try my hardest to cover them up. I spent a lot of time and energy on hiding these areas that I wanted so desperately to vanish.

A big first step in learning to love oneself and in self-forgiveness is accepting every part of you as the unique person that you are. All of your so-labeled liabilities can be tweaked into assets, but they must first be accepted. Otherwise, you are pushing against the grain and not being authentic to your true self.

Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. In all of my past serious relationships, I have loved very passionately- so much so, that I’ve depended on the other person in the relationship for my happiness (what is commonly referred to as co-dependence). My moods depended on their moods, their well-being, or were correlated to the way they were treating me at the time. One can argue that this is not really love. I feel it was love, but with a very important component missing-that passionate love for myself… With it, the “dysfunctional” one-sided relationships may have flourished or an even more likely scenario~ I would have probably not attracted them in the first place (but that’s a topic for another day). Once I accepted this as a part of my unique persona I was able to direct it in a more healthy manner-passionate love for my child, my work, my family, my faith, and most importantly, myself.

You may find your dark sides in anger, co-dependence, low self-esteem or a combination of these or other perhaps not so desirable traits. We are missing a part of us by wishing these traits weren’t ours and not owning up to every inch of them. If we are only loving a part of ourselves or of others, we are not fully engaged in the experience of love. You know that feeling of being in a relationship where the other person may “kind of like you” or you “kind of like them”. It doesn’t flourish, and neither party is truly happy. It has been said by finding an area in which you have found the most struggles, therein lies your true purpose. These are gifts for us to embrace; lessons are presented for us to learn. Think of one of your greatest challenges-has that not shaped who you are today? When you are in the midst of it, it can be difficult; but when you step back, you see the beauty of it all.
Accept your yin and your yang. Accept your dark and your light. Accept your failures and your successes. I am not suggesting that we use this as an excuse to not participate in personal development or self-care, or to neglect to learn those lessons that are often presented to us throughout our lives. Instead I am suggesting that we embrace our unique selves and know that we are not on this Earth to take up space but rather to fulfill a beautiful life of our dreams in our own special way~ every valuable bit of us.

“If you can’t accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.”
~Author Unknown

About the author:

Copyright 2005~Deborah Shipley is a registered yoga teacher, publisher of a free monthly e-zine on self-esteem, and an e-book author. This article may be distributed provided the author’s information is included in its entirety.
http://www.tipsforinterpersonalskills.com

Next entries »